Nosy.

So, I'm annoyed. The "house meeting" was about looking at a "contract" that all of the renters had to sign.

In case you didn't know, crappy home life, Dad stopped paying for school, moved by school because it was the only real escape I had. A large part was due to the fact that my boyfriend is still attending school. We're pretty much attached at the hip and do everything together.

So, here's the thing. The "contract" was largely an attack on me. And it irritated me. At first I just felt defensive/attacked (which I didn't voice), but then I got irritated, because I realized: I'm frickin' tired of apologizing for who I am.

Obviously when I came up here, I didn't know anyone and I wasn't there. So it was kind of hard to find a place. Luckily, I knew a woman from my church who rented rooms out to college students. So, naturally, I went there. Unfortunately, I knew from day one it would be an issue. A prior tenant, who I had many classes with the past year, had had horrible experiences living there in the past. I knew I was going to be judged, but I felt I didn't really have any other options at the time and I didn't think it could be anywhere as bad as living at home. For the record, it isn't anywhere as bad as living at home. But a lot of the issues I run into at home, I'm now running into here. For one, my stepmom is incredibly passive aggressive and nosy, and she feels it's appropriate not only to go into my room, but to rearrange things and leave irritatingly condescending notes for me. No. They drive me INSANE. I'm also 21 years old- I don't need reminders to wipe my own butt (they actually get that bad.) So imagine my delight when I'm waking up to obvious post-it notes yet again... home sweet home. Or when I come back to my room and someone has obviously been in it.

What the frick am I paying rent for? I'm being treated as if I'm a child/unpaying tenant as opposed to someone who has been working two jobs to cover everything myself. I'm actually on my own, besides my boyfriend. And the fact that she borrows food from me that she never replaces, eats food she never asked about, and promises repayment I never receive for babysitting her daughter just boils over when I get attacked by a moronic contract.

I rarely even come out of my room... So what am I doing that's so goddamn wrong? I do my own laundry, I pay my own rent, I do my own dishes and others without being asked... I share whatever they might need without question...

So if I want to have my frickin' boyfriend spend the night on the anniversary of my best friend's death, or leave a small energy-saving bulb on because I can't see anything when I come back to my room, or have extra freaking biscuits in the fridge because I used a stupid coupon... Why do I have to feel like a goddamn criminal?

It seems as if no matter where you go, people are expecting you to apologize for who you are. And my answer is no. Because even when you do, people still aren't happy. And they never will be, regardless of how many hoops you jump through. So why deny yourself happiness just so other people can still be unhappy with you?

All I have to say is no.